The helpless troublemaker


It’s a desperate plea to end all of my misery.
I endlessly repeat with intention to reach out and find
I reject help when it’s found
I’m battling
I’m traveling spouting blasphemy to draw attention
Tear down my barriers and force help into the travesty that I’ve become.
Death is honning – hovering – lingering – singing songs of happiness on the other side of the ground.
She is enthusiastically endearing to my cause .
Free the love that lures me into the lunatic house
Please pour you poison freeing my pleas with your precious pleasant bittersweet pureness – no precaution – just please indulge yourself in my presence.
Help Me
Help Me free. Help me be, unbroken.
Ducktape me, glue me, I hope your mighty putty can withstand my touch.
Im Repulsive so i recluse myself in a noose which loops around my blooper body, a mess up, the rope strings around my neck hugging me for what I’m worth.
Hold me tight – hold me up – hold my freight as I grasp you terrified.
I’m opening the gates to hell and letting myself into the jailsell that will hold my mind of mischief captive for eternity
I’m further down the line than even I anticipated, I want to be free, nothing is holding me back so when I eventually crack ill be a dog on the loose running away from trailing troubles. Dreary weather reminds me the world is a corrupt cultivation of conniving crude culprits of the cold cloudy chilling shroud bloomed over humanity. I’m part of the piece, I fit in just right, but the problem is I can’t live with being terrible among the living light, when it’s sunny I loose myself among my computers in my room captivating my hunger for murderous rapant rampage running through my rushing veinss telling me to end what I’ve begun.
Help Me is what I’ve sung,
I’m stuck in this room and I’ve begun
To sink into the floorboard finding that living with the rodents is just like on land.
I’m just as terrible, so I’ve become one of them
I’m running under your house, I’m running into your home, I’m a scurrying rodent
just trying to find a house to call home.
I’m trying to find help
To uplift me from my troubles
I’m the troublemaker who can’t fix his problems


I belong in a Zoo. 

Caged up and watched until I do something “spectacular.”
“Wow! He’s hitting his fist against his head? Look at that dumb creature!”
No, I’m just trying to get these damn blinds up.
They cover my face obstructing the light
They block the vision while I fight through the crazed maze in my head that keeps playing me for a fool.
My inner gps tells me “Turn right!” very enthusiastically.
The devilish lady proceeds to tell me “rerouting” in a disappointed demeaning manor after I just turned right.
I run into a wall.
“Wow, look at that fool trapped in his habitat trying to escape. What a big dummy.”
I beat my fists against the cage waging war against tourists snapping photos.
I startled a guy and he dropped his phone.
I hope it cracked.
My inner maze game ends with a manly “game over” and I rage quit life.
Now I’m on YouTube.

Fastest man alive 

I’m miles mar***** the saddest man alive

I’m running from these thoughts
I’m running in a line
Pencil strokes thick as I jot down sad thoughts
Alotting a dot at the end of a string of
Plot thickens like a crop thickens over time, I think I’m ready to be cut down
Reaper, reaping my mind of happines, cut me in half down the spine
My amygdala on both halfs so depression doesn’t leave the mind
Cut me in half and save some for later, or abandon me now – I just want to cater
to whatever you need, feast on me if you please.
Scavenge my body, pluck me of my berries.
Be careful I’m sweet I’m sour, with a hint of blue and a rose flower so when you reach into the mind be careful of my white blood cells, my thorns, they protect me from viruses trying to plague my body.
My auto immunity leaves me crippled so make sure the fruit isn’t rotten
Saddness encompas my body
I want to give her a hobby.
I’m giving myself up.
Depression fucks me daily. 


The scratching of dead sun scorched
A cat pawing at a window pleading to feel the warmth of indoors
Leaves looking to find a place endlessly drifting apon pavement
The cat drifting from house to house  begging for a place to call home
Sanctuary in trees until weakness left them abandoned
Sanctuary in trees from dogs barking “you have no place here”
The wind causes an endless chase
From scurrying stray cats to lifeless leaves lifted by gust
They are just looking for a place to Fall


My mind yearns to be free of immaturity
My mind yearns to be free of impurity
My mind yearns to be free of intensity
My mind yearns an earnest plea “set me free of the treachery” but it’s destiny for hope to turn hopelessly
When day becomes dark again
When bright ends are rooted with darkness coming from the brain.
You can dye
But inside
Always leaves a water mark
You will always have a place on the earth
The reminense stays alive
Alive in my mind.

Insane in the membrane 

Insane in the membrane 

Like I’ve actually caught insanity.
Like a common cold I’m coughing words
like my throat hurts.
My throat hurts because I can’t stomach my problems
In the past I have stomached my problems, that’s why I see a gastroenterologist
My acid reflux is a reminder that my body doesn’t want my body inside of me and it trys to send my acidic insides all over the ground
I used to take medication – the highest dosage to prevent any type of burning, but the burning continued
I stopped taking medication and nothing changed
It’s become my flame that keeps my fernous burning
I’ve become burnt out
Inside and outside appearance changing
as I pour more pills and pain down my drain
I turn on the garbage disposal to eradicate any feeling

My outsides now resemble my insides better
My hair is darker, the circles under my eyes are purple as bruises
She wrote a poems that wasn’t suppose to be relatable
These bruises are as dark as ever
My outside pigmentation is slight yellow because I’ve been bruised everywhere
I’m made up of ruptured vessels
I’m a submarine under the water
My tank can’t hold the pressure
Metallic moaning noises come from my body as I sink under the waves
I can’t stomach today.

Melatonin Mama

I feel like nothing I write will top the first post, but here’s some poetry!

Melatonin Mama

Wish me to sleep

For even dreams

Seem to still creep

My brain is unrest

Woken to sweat

Tethered Regret

If I can’t sleep

can I ever forget?

That Melatonin Mama

dependent, I am

You coddle me

You’re the only one I rest with